In other words, they work…they’re funny, quirky, witty, intelligent and most of all, informative. As a result, they’ve become quite popular with the kids and under 40 crowd. So, I thought I would blow the collective minds of the cyber world and type up a little “25 Things about Me” of my own. Maybe even be the first dog to do so; at least the first mascot to let the world in on my world; 25 random facts at a time.
So with out further adieu, let’s begin…
1. I’ve got a book coming out this summer. It’s a photo book chronicling the first five years of my life in pictures; hence the term “picture book.” At this point in time, it’s probably going to be more than 100 pages in length. Unfortunately this won’t be any piece you can find on the best-seller table at Borders or Barnes & Noble, or even in the lavish and rich mahogany-smelling Butler Bookstore, as it’s being made by my dad on MyPublisher.com. Thus, it will be an expensive little coffee table piece that you’ll probably only find in my parent’s living room, in my dad’s office and in the third floor archives of the Irwin Library.
2. It wasn’t until just a couple of years ago that I realized most dogs have to stay at home all day instead of going with humans to work. I’ve never really known anything different so I often forget that, but my dad is always quick to remind me when I’m barking or committing some non-favorable office activity during business hours.
3. I have a sixth sense for ice cream. You can pull a bag of frozen peas or some frozen strawberries out of the freezer and I probably won’t bother to even come into the kitchen. On the other hand, I could be on my bed and asleep in the living room and you pull out the ice cream and I’m on the floor next to the counter before you can even find the ice cream scoop.
4. I sleep in the bed with my parents. I have since the first night…about 20 minutes of crying in my crate after the lights went out fixed that. I think that I’m pretty much the reason why my parents bought a king sized bed. Typically, I have to be touching someone in the bed at all times. That means that I push my butt into someone’s legs or butt all night. I don’t like to be covered up unless I don’t feel good, and that’s even with a fan on every night. And come morning, you have to wake me up and carry me out of bed, otherwise I’d just assume stay in bed until noon every day. Yes, EVERY day.
5. I “kiss” my dad and “hug” my mom. Okay, sure, I kiss my mom sometimes and hug my dad at times as well, but usually, I give face kisses to my dad and cuddle and hug on my mom. Also, every night when we all just crawl into bed, I have to kiss my dad profusely…I mean like enough kisses to practically chap his skin. I’m thanking him for the day, for taking me to work, for loving on me and just for everything.
6. I might be the most technologically advanced/savvy dog that you know outside of Astro Jetson. I have a blog, a Facebook fan page, a Twitter account and a live office web cam. I have to thank my dad for keeping all of that going on my behalf and my good friend Brad Ward for making some of that happen and marketing it.
7. My favorite toys are latex chew toys. Even though I have an amazing bite force, I just love to chew on them and feel the scrunchy latex in my mouth. I typically do not destroy my latex toys, just chew away. However, I do like to destroy my stuffed animals. I enjoy shaking the heck out of them and then watch the stuffing fly like snow flurries. My favorite stuffed animals are the basic teddy bears at Build-A-Bear. They’re well built, relatively cheap, and they don’t have plastic eyes. I nurse on their snout with my mouth and kneed the head with my paws. I do this a lot to calm my nerves or to put myself asleep. It’s weird, I know. I’ve always been nuts about balls, but my dad got me to relax just a little bit when it comes to the balls. Being around sporting events so much, it was kind important for me just “let it go.” Finally, contrary to popular believe, I really don’t chew on rawhide bones…just love to hide them.
8. I weigh 62 lbs. I’ve weighed between 60-62 lbs for probably four years now. No more, no less. Yes, that is normal for a male bulldog. No, I am not overweight. Bulldogs are built this way. Calling me fat is like calling Matt Howard fat. Not only is it not true, but we’ll make you pay for such comments. I get two cups of dog food per day (one in the morning and one in the evening). There’s pretty much food in my bowl at all times. I eat when I’m hungry and when I’m not, then I don’t eat. The same can’t be said for a lot of the people that say I look over weight. Check the mirror for yourself!
9. Movies, commercials, billboards, print ads, etc. have always interested me. I’d enjoy doing that stuff outside of Butler, but I have never really had the chance. If given the opportunity, I think I would be great at it. I am well trained, I take instruction well, I’m used to working all the time, and I’m extremely good looking. Get me an agent!
10. I might be the slowest dog you’ve ever seen or met. My run across the basketball court for that rawhide bone or the sprint from the Butler Bowl tunnel and out on the football field are just flukes. You should see me walking in and out of work every day…in those normal, everyday instances you would guess my name to be “Molasses” and not “Blue.” It drives my dad crazy, so that’s why I do it. It’s a bulldog thing.
11. When my parents leave home, I am capable of staying out on my own and not causing any problems. In that case, usually you’ll just find a warm spot on the couch from where I had been napping. We did that routine for some time, but for the past couple years I’ve gone back to being locked up in the cage while they’re gone. Staying out on my own kind of made me anxious or nervous, but hanging out in my cage allows me to really relax. I even hang out in my crate on my own time. It’s a safe haven.
12. My dad is working on a special project with a childhood friend named Kurtis Beavers that revolves around me. I cannot divulge what they are working on at the moment, but I think it will be pretty cool when it’s all finished. That should be a while though…they’re only in the development phase.
13. I enjoy getting out of the house and going places, but frankly, the car is old news for me. I’m a sucker for tractors, four-wheelers, and boats. I’ve been known to jump up on the four-wheeler by myself and wait for a human to hop on and give me a ride.
14. I love being a mascot! Granted, I don’t know anything different, but I truly think I was born to do it. I love going to campus every day, hanging out with students, going to sporting events, wearing jerseys, attending university events, doing photo shoots, and any other mascot duties they throw my way. I can’t imagine any other lifestyle.
15. I have some bad habits and issues with bodily functions. Good manners are something I’ve never been taught. Thus, I burp, fart and snore quite often and sometimes at the same time. Chalk it up to my breed: the English Bulldog. It’s what we do.
16. I’m not a “howler.” You know how with some dogs if you howl like a wolf, they’ll howl back with/at you. Yeah, I don’t do that. I make crying noises like Chewbacca when I really want something, but I don’t howl. I bark a lot and growl sometimes.
17. I’m not going to lie, my work accommodations could be better. But I am just No. 2, in the line of “Butler Blues.” Thus, I just think that sometimes people do not understand what could/should be done for a live mascot. Sometimes “Butler Blue II” is an after thought. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got it pretty good, but there could be more. After all, I am a bulldog and “getting around” isn’t exactly my strong suit. So, a reserved, close parking spot would be helpful. Sure, I’m a dog, but I’m not just some happy-go-lucky Labrador that’s running into work every morning. Believe me, I’m smarter than that. My dad practically has to drag me into work every day. A golf cart to get around campus would be good too. Maybe I should talk to the local Smart Car dealer and see about getting hooked up with a new blue Smart Car…the new “Blue Mobile!” I’m just saying, I’m the real thing…a living breathing mascot. That should come with some extra perks. See UGA at the University of Georgia.
18. If your dog has diarrhea, feed him/her 100% pumpkin with a little plain non-fat yogurt. Firm ‘em right up! I’m just saying, it works for me! Seriously! Don’t get the can of pumpkin pie mix. That’s not the stuff you want. Look on the can and make sure it’s 100% pumpkin. Very important. Works like a charm.
19. Love the water. Can’t swim. As a puppy I jumped in a pool once and immediately sunk to the bottom. Think about it, I don’t have one good characteristic for swimming. My nose is smushed, my airways are small, my legs are little, my hips are narrow, my feet aren’t webbed, I weigh a ton, I’m as dense as they come and my coat holds as much water as the Sham-wow! Swimmer: no. Anchor: yes. So, my water time has been restricted to bath time, one of those plastic kiddy wading pools (which I love!) and boat rides. I have a life jacket, but even that thing struggles to keep me afloat!
20. When it comes to toys, I’m completely spoiled. I love new toys! Say the words, “new toy,” and I’m all ears. It’s pretty much the only thing that can get me to get up and jump out of bed on my own terms. Otherwise, you’re picking me up out of bed and setting me on the floor. Bring home some shopping sacks and I’m going through them to make sure there isn’t a new toy in there for me. Bring a new toy home, and I’m going nuts! I’ll cry until I get it and once I do, I have to take it straight to my bed. I don’t know why, I just do. After that, it’s the only thing on my mind when I’m home for at least a week. Say “new toy” after bringing one home recently, and that will be the one that I go get. Love me some new toys!
21. I love going to the vet. I hear a lot of dogs don’t like going to the vet. I don’t get that. I go to the vet and all of the staff make over me, give me lots of treats, give me my own room (no really, I have a room at the vet with my pictures on the wall) and after all of that, my vet, Dr. Kurt Phillips (pictured) as Woodland Animal Hospital, comes in and takes care of me. Seriously, I love going to the vet. Say “Dr. Phillips,” and my ears perk up. Pull up to the vet’s office, and I race you to the door. Good times!
22. While I’m not supposed to have “people food” I still have been known to have fair share from time to time. Like any canine, I’ll eat just about anything. Here are a few things I won’t devour: lettuce, pretzels, Pepto Bismol, and sometimes popcorn and dry cereal…just depends on my mood for those last two.
23. High-maintenance and pampered, that’s me. I don’t try to be. I don’t go seeking that sort of care and attention, it just comes with the territory and the breed. Several hundred years of inbreeding has bred most of the good stuff right out of us English Bulldogs. As a result, I often have to have Desitin or A+D (you know, the stuff for diaper rash) Ointment applied to my wrinkles, nooks and crannies. That means I have it applied to my face wrinkles, nose rope and tail pocket. Pleasant huh? It supposed to dry up the wrinkles and prevent fungus and infection. I don’t much like it, but I’m a trooper about it and take it. I also have to have my wrinkles and what not frequently cleaned with baby wipes. They like to put Vaseline on my nose too. Put Vaseline all over your nose and let me know how that goes. It’s tough being me.
24. When I go potty and I have to urinate, 50% of the time I squat and the other 50% of the time I lift a leg. I would also say that 60% of the time I kick after I go potty to “cover it up.”
25. I’m a “wiggler.” I get excited, I wiggle. I’ll even do it on command. Show me “the twist” and I’ll shake my booty better than Chubby Checker ever did. Think about it, I’ve got a tail, but it’s a corkscrew and nothing to wag, so when I get excited, I wiggle. And pretty much every time my parents sing KC and the Sunshine Band’s lyrics “shake shake shake, shake shake shake, shake youuuurrrrr booooootttttttaaaaaayyyyy,” I do just that. It’s embarrassing.
Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed those 25 very random facts about me and maybe even learned something new too!